I have gotten fat.

Perhaps more accurately, I have gained a few pounds. Most people probably would not be able to notice an outward difference in body but to me this development is rather devastating. After dedicating myself to weight loss for ten months of my life, I was able to lose a considerable amount of weight. I didn’t weigh myself before hand but, for perspective, I went from wearing larges and extra larges to now wearing smalls and mediums.

My weight loss success did not come from any extreme changes; I simply had espoused an extremely sedentary lifestyle and never tried to eat well. As I began to exercise regularly and improve my diet, the weight came off quickly and painlessly. I was so proud of my accomplishments and my new body. My secret was Tony Horton’s Power 90 and subsequently P90X; both programs are phenomenal and tie very well into each other for beginners. I never bothered with any particular diet; I simply endeavored to eat fewer processed foods and more whole foods. All summer, fall and winter I was extraordinarily dedicated to eating well and working out every day.

Then, spring arrived.

My stress level from my job and from school increased exponentially. I was losing sleep, eating my feelings and frequently felt too lethargic to exercise. Although I know that I ultimately am responsible for what has transpired, there were a lot of external factors that influenced my fall from grace.

As always, the inciting incident was the worst part of the ordeal. While sitting at my computer, I was reaching forward to grab a pen when I felt something dreadful: my stomach. As my abdomen countered, all I felt was my gut folding in on itself. It was dreadful. I felt as though the last ten months of my life had been erased in a split second as all of the cookies from Panera and slices of cake from work manifested themselves on top of my (formerly) killer abs. I looked in the mirror and suddenly my mind was flooded with questions. “Is my face usually that round?” “Are those my hips or love handles?”

Subsequently, I am here today declaring my intention to return to my old ways. To find continued success, I must focus on myself and nurture my body. No more excuses; from here on out it is all about keeping it healthy.

“My weight issue isn’t about eating less or working out harder, or even about a malfunctioning thyroid. It’s about my life being out of balance, with too much work and not enough play, not enough time to calm down. I let the well run dry.” Oprah Winfrey

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